Balder Ex-Libris

Author : Goad Jim
Title : Answer me ! The first Three
Year : 1991

Link download : Goad_Jim_-_Answer_me_The_first_Three.zip

One end of the planet sits society. On the other end sits me. lt has always been this way. When I wake up in the morning, there's a dead world waiting For me. So I sleep until the crust seals my eyes shut. When the angry sunlight finally forces them open again, the trouble begins. 0 0on't you like anything?" the idiots ask me. They must not know meverywell. I like litters of newborn puppies and gerbage cans filled with aborted fetuses. I like the sound of children in pain. I like peaple who are so misshapen by birth defects, they don't even appear human anymore. I like loners who stand in corners at parties. I like family gatherings which devolve into fistfights. I like Resh-eating bacterie and the hantavirus. I like it when old enemies slowly suffer. I like rain and cold and dark skies and being alone. I like listening to the clanging symphony of human frustration. I like to watch the world slowly implode, because it confirms my hunches from long, long ago. Vou may say that l'rn merely being contrary, but I think YOU'RE the disagreeable one. My life has postponed its promise of death. So !linger around, forcing VOU to suffer. I am here to rain on your parade. I am the dynamite which blasts through your bullshit. I am the pubic haïr at the bottom of your soup bowl. I want you to cry at inappropriate moments and laugh when no one else does. I want you to feel suicidai around holidays. I want you to slice your skin open and cover the wounds when guests visit. I want you to lose everything except the knowledge that you have no personality. What upsets me is that there are no guarantees in life. Good things heppen, but they are taken away too quickly. The bad always oulweighs the good. Most of the peaple I liked are dead. Endless car crashes. Painful diseases. A boyfriend who was shot to death in Flatbush. Nothing lasts. My body will be destroyed by age like a butterscotch sucking candy being slowly dissolved. Life is punishment. My death wish was evident in my birth. There I was, popping feetfirst from my mother's cunt, the umbilical cord tied nooselike around my neck. My face was blue until they revived me. A nblue boby." A morose infant. An unloved child, tossed into the bushes by the other kids. Smacked in the face with a baseball bat at seven years old. Smothered with a blanket and beaten with broomsticks by my summer-camp roommates. Bruises. Pain is my friend. ...